December 26, 2013

I’M DOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNEEEE (with Mahoyo… and Nasu in general)


With every other keystroke, I wondered to myself why I ever thought that this was a good idea.

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September 17, 2013

I need someone to get English into the Mahoyo trial and other news


After every sentence I translate of the Mahoutsukai no Yoru (魔法使いの夜) trial I ask myself why. Why am I punishing myself with this? Turning Nasu’s nonsense into half decent English prose is like drilling a rusty screw into your urethra. Every word is another notch down your wee-wee tube and it’s painful.

Anyways, I’m almost done, and my goal is to beat Commie to their full game release.  Seeing as how they’re perpetually stuck at 67%, I might actually be able to do this. (Does that figure also include translation check and editing? Does Commie know what editing is?)

So what this means is that I need to start getting the translation into the game. Originally, I was just going to do this myself, but since I’m lazy, and Nasu is pissing me off more and more, I’m gonna ask if anyone is willing to either doing it themselves (master hacker pro), figuring out how to do it  and doing it, finding people who know how to do it and begging them to do it, whatever. Basically, what I’d like is to give you the script, magic happens, and in turn you give me back a game with the English in it (I don’t really care about the menus). I know some Italian guys had done it when the trial first came out but I don’t even know if they’re still alive.

If you’re interested in taking on this extremely important, yet rewarding task (sorry, there is no reward other than your own self-satisfaction), email me at jean.baptiste.tell at google’s email service.

In other news, I finished playing Grisaia no Rakuen (グリザイアの楽園). The game was like a roller-coaster. That stopped working. It started off pretty good, but it just kept getting stupider, and stupider, until the author threw all pretenses out the window and openly admitted that he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing and doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Not even Kazuki saved this game.

I also just recently finished marathoning through Valvrave’s 1st season. It’s like a shittier version of Code Geass, train wrecks and WTF moments all around. In other words, it’s pretty great.

April 10, 2013

Visual Novels and Hitagi Crab 004


It’s been a long time. And there is so much to talk about.

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March 28, 2012

Okay, I lied

I’m now busier than before, meaning that April 15th deadline is looking less and less likely. Fuck me sideways.

One of the best things about Mahoyo is the art and the character designs. Take Aoko’s (god I suck with clothing terminology) dress outfit above. It’s simple, realistic, and very attractive, and the very opposite of the smorgasbord of flamboyant rainbow fuckery we see in most clothing designs in anime and pr0n games.  Maybe Koyama designed both that delicious blue dress and this outfit himself, maybe he didn’t, but most artists in the industry are quite obviously not fashion designers and designs might go a long way if, let’s say for example, they opened up a [insert fancy French clothing line] catalogue here and copied them.

The biggest tragedy here is that the Sensei, at least temporally, goes from this to…… a white t-shirt.

Anime endings:

Guilty Crown – Peaked at when Shu got his arm got off and then kinda just fizzled out. Where the hell are my doujins? Also, watching this show made me realize how badly we need more Code Geass.

Nisemonogatari – Shinobu is now tied with Hitagi as the best girl. Nisio allegedly said that he wrote the book with no intention of publishing it and with all the ass-pulls, this-makes-no-sense moments, and anti-climaxes, it shows.

Another – The best girl died ;_;

March 6, 2012

I need more sleep

Despite understandable reservations from all two of you of whether I’ll ever finish translating this, your doubts are misplaced – I DO intend to finish this shit and save it from the atrocity that is the current translation that’s out (aka the worst translation I’ve ever read), and before the game comes out on April 12 at that. I’ll be significantly less busy-er in the coming weeks… I think. I hope. Oh god, I don’t want to write anymore essays in Japanese.

Anywho – this picture… My gosh. We need this in poster size, now. Were Sensei’s boobs always so… uhhh, disproportionate with the right ratios to the rest of her body? Okay, maybe we do need Mahoyo to be +18. Just outsource the writing of the sexy time scenes to someone else – anyone else. I really don’t want to try to  guess what underwater animal Nasu would like to have a go at if he had another chance. Also, does Koyama Hirokazu also do the background art too? If so, color me impressed.

January 10, 2012

Goddamit I should’ve thought of this

Bakemonogatari – Ghostory



Nekomonogatari – Catstory ?? Cat’story ?





Koimonogatari – Love Story




January 2, 2012

New year, new project

Happy new year!

Here’s a project in which I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The two people who read my Twitter already know this, but I’ve been at it with the The Witch on the Holy Night (Mahoutsukai no Yoru, aka Mahoyo) trial script for the past week or so and I think I’ll be able to pull it off so here’s the “official” announcement for the project. For those that don’t know, Mahoyo is Type-Moon’s latest visual novel (the same people responsible for Tsukihime, Fate stay/night, Kara no Kyoukai; sort of but not really responsible for Fate/zero), the trial of which was released several weeks ago. The trial is only maybe one to two hours long with only about 250 or so “pages” in the script file so hopefully I’ll be able to finish this thing before my winter break is up.

A couple thoughts on the trial:

1. Nasu’s writing isn’t as bad as all the current English translations of his works lets on.

2. That being said, Nasu’s writing is bad, or at least not good, in a whole ‘nother way. I guess to a certain extent it’s up to preference, but I don’t like it.  I don’t want to call it pretentious… but it’s kinda pretentious.

Pro tip for our writers over in Area 11 – For the love of God, stop describing reticent pretty girls as “like a beautiful doll.” Every fucking time its the SAME damn metaphor.

3. The sound effects are fantastic. All the mundane stuff – doors closing, footsteps, lights turning on, setting Aoko’s ass down on a sofa were all featured and done fantastically, adding to the overall atmosphere. If anything deserves the title of “sound novel” (what R07 calls Higurashi and Umineko), then its this VN. They didn’t skimp on the music productions either. They hired the guy who did the music for Street Fighter 4 I think it was and each piece (mostly piano, I think) set the mood perfectly. Mileage may vary for different people, I happen to like classical pieces very much.

3.5. The art is great. Every CG is good enough to be a picture by itself. Lots of people were disappointed there’s not gonna be any pr0n. It seems that Type-Moon is now too good for pr0n like Nitro+.

4. Nasu said that the game is taking so long (it was supposed to come out around last year) because of directing. I can definitely see where he’s coming from – every graphic and effect is made to be fit with the text on screen. People were calling them out for not including voices due to “an artistic decision” but after playing the trial, I believe them. I don’t really care either way, but to be fair, the best character voice will always be the voice in your imagination.

5. I still have no idea what the story is about, assuming there is a story. Nasu and his typical mumbo jumbo.

6. Young Aoko reminds me a lot of Rin – she loves complaining about the protagonist in a very typical tsundere fashion. Alice is your run of the mill kuudere. Thankfully, I’m a giant sucker for both archetypes.


7. The main protagonist – I don’t even remember his name. That’s how bland he is. The 4chan usage of the term “faggot” was made for this guy.

So basically right now I need to ask people who’re familiar with the kirikiri engine get text insertion back into the game working. So far, I’ve been copy and pasting the script to another text file and translating from there – not going to work if I don’t want to copy the entire thing back into the original coded script again. This is what it looks like at the moment:

I have never used the word “Plutonian” until now.

Also, I probably should enlist the help of TakaJun or some other Nasuverse fanatic to help with terminology.

On a completely unrelated note, I have been playing way too much Battlefield 3.

September 18, 2011

Hey look, it’s this guy again

So in the span of time between the last chapter release and now I have:

  1. Read all of Rewrite
  2. Read all  of Eustia of Fallen Wings
  3. Finished reading Jake Adelstein’s Tokyo Vice
  4. Played all of Deus Ex Human Revolution
  5. Watched 4 seasons of The Wire (also known as the best TV show ever made)
  6. Translated NONE of the next chapter

Also, it seems that my editor had died in a terrific automobile accident. Or something. Hey Ebisu, if you’re reading this, drop me a line.

Though I’ve realized one thing: finding a good (and experienced, sorry Ebisu) editor in the fansubbing world is about as hard as finding a good translator. Why is it that we have no ENGLISH majors around? Everyone is either a codemonkey, an engineer, or a labcoat. It’s not not English majors don’t have all the free time in the world between writing bullshit for mandatory assignments and barista-ing… Just kidding! Please don’t be mad at me, English majors.

Good news? Both Kizumonogatari and Nisemonogatari are getting Annie May adaptations before long! Hooray! Thankfully, SHAFT is at least smart enough to milk their cash cow within reasonable time frames… How many more years before we get more Haruhi? I don’t even want to think about it.



Oh god… the short hair… oh god…

No hair change? Shaft, I am disappoint

Mmm… slightly longer, but still short hair… I’m starting to like short hair, do you like short hair?


Oh… my… god…

Things we learned:

  1. It’s now all in the lip details. Worked for the girls in Denpa Onna, worked for Tsubasa.
  2. It’s not about which hairstyle but more hairstyles.
  3. Nisemono is going to do a number on my nutbladder.
August 15, 2011

We have it backwards

I was never sure exactly where Romeo was going with the whole environmentalism motif in Rewrite. How did draining natural resources equal the destruction of ALL life on Earth exactly? I’m pretty sure cockroaches don’t give two fucks about gas prices.

July 31, 2011

Key’s Rewrite – Review

At a certain point in my life, I realized I possessed nothing.

The pouch I thought that had been stuffed with happiness turned out to be empty.

 It was a matter of course, I had spent no amount of effort to fill it.

But, I did not understand even that.

Because I had lead an aimless life without substance.

And so on a day like any other, the feeling of just how much time I had really lost suddenly sunk in.

I could strike up a conversation with anyone. Be it any ol’ bastard.

But there was not one person on Earth with whom I could say I was intimate.

No deep self-reflection was required to understand  just how shallow my life was.

Kotori Kanbe, an old acquaintance, was the only friend I could talk to without reserve.

That’s right.

She was… a friend.

(I’ll do it over.)

(Next time, I’ll do it right.)

It was an earnest wish.

But, probably one that was almost impossible to fulfill.

There walks not a single soul without his own personal hardships.

Happiness cannot be obtained automatically.

It is something that can only be caught with one’s own hands.

Just what is happiness?

Is it something like youth? Then what is youth?

“It’s like, something dazzling. Something brilliant,” explained Kotori.

“Fuck if I know. It’s not somethin’ you figure out by tryin’,” spat Yoshino.

Long ago, someone spoke of traversing the “tight rope of life.”

I felt our three different views were all correct.

It was something dazzling, something unknowable, and also something terrifyingly dreadful.

It was a difficult thing to grasp. There was no hard answer.

Still, I decided to embark on a journey in search of it.

However, the cruel flow of time that waits for no one.

In the twinkling of an eye, summer came, and with another, autumn.

Before I knew it, I was already in my second year of high school.

I was impatient.

Even now, I held nothing.

I could not even figure out what I should have been doing.

So everything I did, I ended up doing for naught.

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