July 14, 2014

The revival of the Baldr Sky translation project


Don’t consider this an official announcement by whatever group is putting this thing together or anything, but me approaching Futsuu about continuing the Baldr Sky translation has gotten him to take the helm and start this thing again. Even if I drop this mammoth of a project (that would inevitably take away pretty much all of my eroge and fapping time as little as it as it is right now) like a hot potato so I can go play Hoshiori Yumemirai (7/25 can’t come soon enough), you can now rest assured that someone is slowly slaving away to bring you this masterpiece in scribblies that you can actually understand.

July 3, 2014

Athos I sent you an email


Pls respond.

June 21, 2014



This picture has nothing to do with this post

Welp. I’m two months out of basic military training and one month into technical training and I’m living the life. I get free room and board, free food, free (what amounts to trade school) training, and all I have to do is keep my room clean, my uniform presentable, not fail my classes. Oh, and get up at 4 AM to do PT. But then again, if it weren’t for mandatory PT I probably wouldn’t do any so I guess that counts as a plus as well. My number one complaint would be the shitastic internet “service” that’s provided in the dorms (and which takes up 5% of my measly paycheck), but asking for fiber for be a little too much for a fifty plus year old military installation, I suppose.

All this is to say that I pretty much have very little time to do anything nowadays except on the weekends. Weekdays I do get several hours of free time, but by the time I’m off from twelve hours of sitting in class bored out of my mind I’m usually too tired to do anything besides catch up on internet things, read some VNs, and/or play some vidya.


If Dark Souls II was a VN, the Emerald Herald would be the last unlockable heroine.

Speaking of vidya, I’ve beaten Dark Souls II, my first Souls game. Which, for all the praise/complaints the Souls games gets for being hard, didn’t really live up to the hype. Part of the reason is that Lightning Spear makes everything easy modo. The only boss that gave me a really hard time was the Ancient Dragon. The trek to him was tedious as hell and all of his attacks one-shotted you. By the time I finally beat him, all the monsters in the Dragon Shrine had stopped spawning. I’m confused about the ending. What the hell is the Throne of Want and why do I want it? How is it related to the First Flame? Do I even care enough to find out?


According to /a/, this is the beginning of the fapocalypse.

In anime related news, Fakku has officially become the Crunchy Roll of Chinese cartoon pr0n, which I find absolutely hilarious. Ever since their incarnation, they’ve been trying to make hentai into some hip, cool thing where you can just hang out with your bros and talk about your last wankfest with the latest Sailor Moon ero-doujinshi from Black Dog. (Black Dog has been making pr0n since before I even knew what pr0n was. The guy deserves a lifetime achievement medal or something. As a matter of fact, the only things I know about Sailor Moon are from what I read from his doujins. I wonder if the new Sailor Moon anime is going to give us another twenty years of glorious Sailor Scouts ero from the guy. One can only hope.) The funny thing is that they sort of kind of succeeded. You don’t have to hide your power levels anymore! You can openly talk about your cartoon fetish and still be cool! Buy one of our t-shirts!

I’m not sure if this is ultimately going to be a good thing or bad thing for the community. Sadpanda (aka the Sekrit Club) has already been doing a wonderful job with providing a user-based platform for getting cartoon ero across the world, fueled mostly by hardcore Tawainese scanlators. I suppose now the publishers will get a slice of the pie and, hey! no more black rectangles hovering over vaginas and penises. But then again, when the hell has Japanese pr0n publishers given any two shits about the market outside of Japan?

If Fakku was smart, they’ll work together with Sadpanda to convert ero pirates to paying customers and focus on providing quality content and services. If Fakku was dumb, they’ll try to get Sandpanda shut down. The emphasis, is of course on “try” because they’ll just be creating what HorribleSubs is to CrunchyRoll. Hell, HorribleSubs themselves can expand into HorribleSubs, 18+ edition. Time will tell.

It’s the weekend now, and I’m getting that itch again to translate something, though, I’m not even sure what I should be working on. Bakemonogatari needs to be put on hold (well… not that it hasn’t been on hold for the longest time) because all the crap related to it are on my old laptop back at home. Mahoyo… wait, how the crap has Commie not released their translation for it yet? Was it released and they just haven’t updated their site? Am I missing something? Someone tell me. Since no one took up on my wonderful offer of putting in my translation of the trial for free, I’ll give that a shot today.

But after that, what should I work on? I need some suggestions. It can be manga, a light novel, a game, whatever. The only criteria I have is that there already needs to be an established group or something working on it so it minimizes the crap I have to work on other than translating text itself since I’m lazy and I have no time. Also, no giant-dick futanari loli bestiality pr0n or anything of that nature. I can’t work if I’m gagging constantly. Relatively normal pr0n is okay.

I’m also thinking of translating interesting anime-related news I read on some of the blogs I go on so I’ll have something to do. We’ll see.

December 26, 2013

I’M DOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNEEEE (with Mahoyo… and Nasu in general)


With every other keystroke, I wondered to myself why I ever thought that this was a good idea.

Continue reading

September 17, 2013

I need someone to get English into the Mahoyo trial and other news


After every sentence I translate of the Mahoutsukai no Yoru (魔法使いの夜) trial I ask myself why. Why am I punishing myself with this? Turning Nasu’s nonsense into half decent English prose is like drilling a rusty screw into your urethra. Every word is another notch down your wee-wee tube and it’s painful.

Anyways, I’m almost done, and my goal is to beat Commie to their full game release.  Seeing as how they’re perpetually stuck at 67%, I might actually be able to do this. (Does that figure also include translation check and editing? Does Commie know what editing is?)

So what this means is that I need to start getting the translation into the game. Originally, I was just going to do this myself, but since I’m lazy, and Nasu is pissing me off more and more, I’m gonna ask if anyone is willing to either doing it themselves (master hacker pro), figuring out how to do it  and doing it, finding people who know how to do it and begging them to do it, whatever. Basically, what I’d like is to give you the script, magic happens, and in turn you give me back a game with the English in it (I don’t really care about the menus). I know some Italian guys had done it when the trial first came out but I don’t even know if they’re still alive.

If you’re interested in taking on this extremely important, yet rewarding task (sorry, there is no reward other than your own self-satisfaction), email me at jean.baptiste.tell at google’s email service.

In other news, I finished playing Grisaia no Rakuen (グリザイアの楽園). The game was like a roller-coaster. That stopped working. It started off pretty good, but it just kept getting stupider, and stupider, until the author threw all pretenses out the window and openly admitted that he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing and doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Not even Kazuki saved this game.

I also just recently finished marathoning through Valvrave’s 1st season. It’s like a shittier version of Code Geass, train wrecks and WTF moments all around. In other words, it’s pretty great.

April 10, 2013

Visual Novels and Hitagi Crab 004


It’s been a long time. And there is so much to talk about.

Continue reading

March 28, 2012

Okay, I lied

I’m now busier than before, meaning that April 15th deadline is looking less and less likely. Fuck me sideways.

One of the best things about Mahoyo is the art and the character designs. Take Aoko’s (god I suck with clothing terminology) dress outfit above. It’s simple, realistic, and very attractive, and the very opposite of the smorgasbord of flamboyant rainbow fuckery we see in most clothing designs in anime and pr0n games.  Maybe Koyama designed both that delicious blue dress and this outfit himself, maybe he didn’t, but most artists in the industry are quite obviously not fashion designers and designs might go a long way if, let’s say for example, they opened up a [insert fancy French clothing line] catalogue here and copied them.

The biggest tragedy here is that the Sensei, at least temporally, goes from this to…… a white t-shirt.

Anime endings:

Guilty Crown – Peaked at when Shu got his arm got off and then kinda just fizzled out. Where the hell are my doujins? Also, watching this show made me realize how badly we need more Code Geass.

Nisemonogatari – Shinobu is now tied with Hitagi as the best girl. Nisio allegedly said that he wrote the book with no intention of publishing it and with all the ass-pulls, this-makes-no-sense moments, and anti-climaxes, it shows.

Another – The best girl died ;_;

March 6, 2012

I need more sleep

Despite understandable reservations from all two of you of whether I’ll ever finish translating this, your doubts are misplaced – I DO intend to finish this shit and save it from the atrocity that is the current translation that’s out (aka the worst translation I’ve ever read), and before the game comes out on April 12 at that. I’ll be significantly less busy-er in the coming weeks… I think. I hope. Oh god, I don’t want to write anymore essays in Japanese.

Anywho – this picture… My gosh. We need this in poster size, now. Were Sensei’s boobs always so… uhhh, disproportionate with the right ratios to the rest of her body? Okay, maybe we do need Mahoyo to be +18. Just outsource the writing of the sexy time scenes to someone else – anyone else. I really don’t want to try to  guess what underwater animal Nasu would like to have a go at if he had another chance. Also, does Koyama Hirokazu also do the background art too? If so, color me impressed.

January 10, 2012

Goddamit I should’ve thought of this

Bakemonogatari – Ghostory



Nekomonogatari – Catstory ?? Cat’story ?





Koimonogatari – Love Story




January 2, 2012

New year, new project

Happy new year!

Here’s a project in which I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The two people who read my Twitter already know this, but I’ve been at it with the The Witch on the Holy Night (Mahoutsukai no Yoru, aka Mahoyo) trial script for the past week or so and I think I’ll be able to pull it off so here’s the “official” announcement for the project. For those that don’t know, Mahoyo is Type-Moon’s latest visual novel (the same people responsible for Tsukihime, Fate stay/night, Kara no Kyoukai; sort of but not really responsible for Fate/zero), the trial of which was released several weeks ago. The trial is only maybe one to two hours long with only about 250 or so “pages” in the script file so hopefully I’ll be able to finish this thing before my winter break is up.

A couple thoughts on the trial:

1. Nasu’s writing isn’t as bad as all the current English translations of his works lets on.

2. That being said, Nasu’s writing is bad, or at least not good, in a whole ‘nother way. I guess to a certain extent it’s up to preference, but I don’t like it.  I don’t want to call it pretentious… but it’s kinda pretentious.

Pro tip for our writers over in Area 11 – For the love of God, stop describing reticent pretty girls as “like a beautiful doll.” Every fucking time its the SAME damn metaphor.

3. The sound effects are fantastic. All the mundane stuff – doors closing, footsteps, lights turning on, setting Aoko’s ass down on a sofa were all featured and done fantastically, adding to the overall atmosphere. If anything deserves the title of “sound novel” (what R07 calls Higurashi and Umineko), then its this VN. They didn’t skimp on the music productions either. They hired the guy who did the music for Street Fighter 4 I think it was and each piece (mostly piano, I think) set the mood perfectly. Mileage may vary for different people, I happen to like classical pieces very much.

3.5. The art is great. Every CG is good enough to be a picture by itself. Lots of people were disappointed there’s not gonna be any pr0n. It seems that Type-Moon is now too good for pr0n like Nitro+.

4. Nasu said that the game is taking so long (it was supposed to come out around last year) because of directing. I can definitely see where he’s coming from – every graphic and effect is made to be fit with the text on screen. People were calling them out for not including voices due to “an artistic decision” but after playing the trial, I believe them. I don’t really care either way, but to be fair, the best character voice will always be the voice in your imagination.

5. I still have no idea what the story is about, assuming there is a story. Nasu and his typical mumbo jumbo.

6. Young Aoko reminds me a lot of Rin – she loves complaining about the protagonist in a very typical tsundere fashion. Alice is your run of the mill kuudere. Thankfully, I’m a giant sucker for both archetypes.


7. The main protagonist – I don’t even remember his name. That’s how bland he is. The 4chan usage of the term “faggot” was made for this guy.

So basically right now I need to ask people who’re familiar with the kirikiri engine get text insertion back into the game working. So far, I’ve been copy and pasting the script to another text file and translating from there – not going to work if I don’t want to copy the entire thing back into the original coded script again. This is what it looks like at the moment:

I have never used the word “Plutonian” until now.

Also, I probably should enlist the help of TakaJun or some other Nasuverse fanatic to help with terminology.

On a completely unrelated note, I have been playing way too much Battlefield 3.


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