March 6, 2012

I need more sleep

Despite understandable reservations from all two of you of whether I’ll ever finish translating this, your doubts are misplaced – I DO intend to finish this shit and save it from the atrocity that is the current translation that’s out (aka the worst translation I’ve ever read), and before the game comes out on April 12 at that. I’ll be significantly less busy-er in the coming weeks… I think. I hope. Oh god, I don’t want to write anymore essays in Japanese.

Anywho – this picture… My gosh. We need this in poster size, now. Were Sensei’s boobs always so… uhhh, disproportionate with the right ratios to the rest of her body? Okay, maybe we do need Mahoyo to be +18. Just outsource the writing of the sexy time scenes to someone else – anyone else. I really don’t want to try to  guess what underwater animal Nasu would like to have a go at if he had another chance. Also, does Koyama Hirokazu also do the background art too? If so, color me impressed.

January 10, 2012

Goddamit I should’ve thought of this

Bakemonogatari – Ghostory



Nekomonogatari – Catstory ?? Cat’story ?





Koimonogatari – Love Story




January 2, 2012

New year, new project

Happy new year!

Here’s a project in which I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The two people who read my Twitter already know this, but I’ve been at it with the The Witch on the Holy Night (Mahoutsukai no Yoru, aka Mahoyo) trial script for the past week or so and I think I’ll be able to pull it off so here’s the “official” announcement for the project. For those that don’t know, Mahoyo is Type-Moon’s latest visual novel (the same people responsible for Tsukihime, Fate stay/night, Kara no Kyoukai; sort of but not really responsible for Fate/zero), the trial of which was released several weeks ago. The trial is only maybe one to two hours long with only about 250 or so “pages” in the script file so hopefully I’ll be able to finish this thing before my winter break is up.

A couple thoughts on the trial:

1. Nasu’s writing isn’t as bad as all the current English translations of his works lets on.

2. That being said, Nasu’s writing is bad, or at least not good, in a whole ‘nother way. I guess to a certain extent it’s up to preference, but I don’t like it.  I don’t want to call it pretentious… but it’s kinda pretentious.

Pro tip for our writers over in Area 11 – For the love of God, stop describing reticent pretty girls as “like a beautiful doll.” Every fucking time its the SAME damn metaphor.

3. The sound effects are fantastic. All the mundane stuff – doors closing, footsteps, lights turning on, setting Aoko’s ass down on a sofa were all featured and done fantastically, adding to the overall atmosphere. If anything deserves the title of “sound novel” (what R07 calls Higurashi and Umineko), then its this VN. They didn’t skimp on the music productions either. They hired the guy who did the music for Street Fighter 4 I think it was and each piece (mostly piano, I think) set the mood perfectly. Mileage may vary for different people, I happen to like classical pieces very much.

3.5. The art is great. Every CG is good enough to be a picture by itself. Lots of people were disappointed there’s not gonna be any pr0n. It seems that Type-Moon is now too good for pr0n like Nitro+.

4. Nasu said that the game is taking so long (it was supposed to come out around last year) because of directing. I can definitely see where he’s coming from – every graphic and effect is made to be fit with the text on screen. People were calling them out for not including voices due to “an artistic decision” but after playing the trial, I believe them. I don’t really care either way, but to be fair, the best character voice will always be the voice in your imagination.

5. I still have no idea what the story is about, assuming there is a story. Nasu and his typical mumbo jumbo.

6. Young Aoko reminds me a lot of Rin – she loves complaining about the protagonist in a very typical tsundere fashion. Alice is your run of the mill kuudere. Thankfully, I’m a giant sucker for both archetypes.


7. The main protagonist – I don’t even remember his name. That’s how bland he is. The 4chan usage of the term “faggot” was made for this guy.

So basically right now I need to ask people who’re familiar with the kirikiri engine get text insertion back into the game working. So far, I’ve been copy and pasting the script to another text file and translating from there – not going to work if I don’t want to copy the entire thing back into the original coded script again. This is what it looks like at the moment:

I have never used the word “Plutonian” until now.

Also, I probably should enlist the help of TakaJun or some other Nasuverse fanatic to help with terminology.

On a completely unrelated note, I have been playing way too much Battlefield 3.

September 18, 2011

Hey look, it’s this guy again

So in the span of time between the last chapter release and now I have:

  1. Read all of Rewrite
  2. Read all  of Eustia of Fallen Wings
  3. Finished reading Jake Adelstein’s Tokyo Vice
  4. Played all of Deus Ex Human Revolution
  5. Watched 4 seasons of The Wire (also known as the best TV show ever made)
  6. Translated NONE of the next chapter

Also, it seems that my editor had died in a terrific automobile accident. Or something. Hey Ebisu, if you’re reading this, drop me a line.

Though I’ve realized one thing: finding a good (and experienced, sorry Ebisu) editor in the fansubbing world is about as hard as finding a good translator. Why is it that we have no ENGLISH majors around? Everyone is either a codemonkey, an engineer, or a labcoat. It’s not not English majors don’t have all the free time in the world between writing bullshit for mandatory assignments and barista-ing… Just kidding! Please don’t be mad at me, English majors.

Good news? Both Kizumonogatari and Nisemonogatari are getting Annie May adaptations before long! Hooray! Thankfully, SHAFT is at least smart enough to milk their cash cow within reasonable time frames… How many more years before we get more Haruhi? I don’t even want to think about it.



Oh god… the short hair… oh god…

No hair change? Shaft, I am disappoint

Mmm… slightly longer, but still short hair… I’m starting to like short hair, do you like short hair?


Oh… my… god…

Things we learned:

  1. It’s now all in the lip details. Worked for the girls in Denpa Onna, worked for Tsubasa.
  2. It’s not about which hairstyle but more hairstyles.
  3. Nisemono is going to do a number on my nutbladder.
August 15, 2011

We have it backwards

I was never sure exactly where Romeo was going with the whole environmentalism motif in Rewrite. How did draining natural resources equal the destruction of ALL life on Earth exactly? I’m pretty sure cockroaches don’t give two fucks about gas prices.

July 31, 2011

Key’s Rewrite – Review

At a certain point in my life, I realized I possessed nothing.

The pouch I thought that had been stuffed with happiness turned out to be empty.

 It was a matter of course, I had spent no amount of effort to fill it.

But, I did not understand even that.

Because I had lead an aimless life without substance.

And so on a day like any other, the feeling of just how much time I had really lost suddenly sunk in.

I could strike up a conversation with anyone. Be it any ol’ bastard.

But there was not one person on Earth with whom I could say I was intimate.

No deep self-reflection was required to understand  just how shallow my life was.

Kotori Kanbe, an old acquaintance, was the only friend I could talk to without reserve.

That’s right.

She was… a friend.

(I’ll do it over.)

(Next time, I’ll do it right.)

It was an earnest wish.

But, probably one that was almost impossible to fulfill.

There walks not a single soul without his own personal hardships.

Happiness cannot be obtained automatically.

It is something that can only be caught with one’s own hands.

Just what is happiness?

Is it something like youth? Then what is youth?

“It’s like, something dazzling. Something brilliant,” explained Kotori.

“Fuck if I know. It’s not somethin’ you figure out by tryin’,” spat Yoshino.

Long ago, someone spoke of traversing the “tight rope of life.”

I felt our three different views were all correct.

It was something dazzling, something unknowable, and also something terrifyingly dreadful.

It was a difficult thing to grasp. There was no hard answer.

Still, I decided to embark on a journey in search of it.

However, the cruel flow of time that waits for no one.

In the twinkling of an eye, summer came, and with another, autumn.

Before I knew it, I was already in my second year of high school.

I was impatient.

Even now, I held nothing.

I could not even figure out what I should have been doing.

So everything I did, I ended up doing for naught.

Continue reading

July 29, 2011

Hue hue hue

Translation and typesetting by me. Original sauce here.

Author’s comments:

ごめんなさい!!!うそですよ長門さん!!!! ▲すみません、悪かった

I’m sorry!!! I’m only joking Yuki!!! My bad, please forgive me

July 15, 2011

Bakemonogatari – Hitagi Crab 003

Good lord! Has it really been A MONTH?! Needless to say, my porno game (that is, “eroge” for you fancy folks [though, Rewrite is all-ages]) habit has gotten out of hand.

A couple of things. First, take a gander at this poll from Baka Updates Manga.

This is an all-around bloody tragedy. This is almost the same thing as begging for a crappier translation. I see those people who voted “yes” in the same light as those fundies railing against healthcare reform and “socialism.” I just don’t understand. For the love of God why? Consider this: would Final Fantasy 7 have been better with Cloud-kun and Tifa-chan?

But… but honorifics have meaning! They tell you about the relationships between the characters and stuff!

First, I’d question how much anyone would actually know what any of those honorifics meant given that they don’t even speak the bloody the language (and if they did, why are they reading a translation). Also consider this: the Japanese translation of Harry Potter probably has additional honorifics stuck in them by the translator (as it should). Would then adding those honorifics back into the original English version make it for better reading? Do you really need Voldemort-sama and Sirius-dono? No, because one, it would read like ass, two, you understand (infer) everything about character relationships just find in plain old English; you don’t need honorifics.

Two, I added in a a table of contents which should make navigating easier and also some pictures of cute animals edited by the awesome Coal.

Three, either the Baka-Tsuki translator stopped giving a shit or someone else translated this chapter, because the translation they have up there is terrible. Not only have they completely forgone any sense of style, they also made numerous translation mistakes in meaning (propositional content). On the other hand, Buddy Waters’s translation didn’t make the same mistakes. Hmm…

Four, I’ve tested this thing on my computer, iPhone 4, and iPad. I’ve decided that for phones, 12pt font is best, and 10pt font for everything else. What I don’t have is an eReader. If you do, please report back your results. I’ve kept in 11pt font for good measure. Also, yes, I’m still interested in making this a ePub file.

Five, according to the stat count, my last release has been downloaded 304 times. As much as I’d like to think that Athos downloaded my translation 303 times (the last one by Coal), it means there were potentially 302 people who thought my translation was so bad that they couldn’t bear to come back to my blog to leave a comment on how shitty it is, or there were 302 people who thought my translation was so good that they don’t have any complaints. Help me out here guys. What do you think? Do you like it? Hate it? Is totally meh?

Six, yes I would fucking love an editor. See sticky if you’re the guy (or gal) I’m looking for.

Clicky for the most up-to-date version.

If that doesn’t work, here’s a Mediafire link.

P.S. Oh yeah, I should say something about this chapter. I found writing Senjougahara’s lines a lot easier if I imagined her English voice to be like Glad0s’s. Mmm… If you’re a keen observer, you might notice that I had her not use contractions (i.e. did not -> didn’t). While she doesn’t exactly talk like book in Japanese, her speech is very feminine, yet direct, and she doesn’t speak unlike a (very sarcastic) high class lady (or at least, what I’d imagine one to sound like. I’ve never met one.) I tried to have her speak “properly” like a lady should.

June 30, 2011

Lookin’ for an editor

Welp, the editor I had before jumped ship so I’m looking for a new one. I should probably be more clear on exactly what I’m looking for.

  1. You must be a native speaker of American English (also known as the best English).
  2. You must regard yourself as a good writer. What this probably means is that you ate AP English and AP Lit for breakfast, got an 800 on both the Critical Reading and Grammar sections of the SAT, and are majoring in English even though you know full well it’s the most useless degree ever, because you love literature so fucking much. You might even keep a shitty blog (much like mine) even though you have at most two readers (much like mine) because you need an outlet for writing. Writing is like your crack cocaine, your anti drug.
  3. On that point, this might be redundant but you must know what good English sounds like. You’ve probably read everything from Harry Potter to The Sound and the Fury.
  4. On that point, this might be redundant but you must understand why Baka-Tsuki’s translation sucks. If you read it over and think it’s a perfectly good contender for the Pulitzer you’re doing something wrong.
  5. If you think my writing sucks, that’s great! But you must know exactly why it sucks and how to change it to make it into a Hemingway masterpiece.
  6. You must have free time to do this. (This is redundant if you’re an English major. Just kidding.)

tl;dr: I’m looking for an editor who writes slightly better than Dan Brown.

If you think you’re the guy (and/or gal), hit me up.

Oh yeah. In other news, the translation is coming along. Might make a summary of the first route of Rewrite before I finish Hitagi Crab 003 though.

June 17, 2011

Bakemonogatari – Hitagi Crab 002

A couple of things.

Thanks to the awesome work of one (two, or even possibly three) Coal(s), we now have a cover. Hooray!

I thought translating dialogue would be easier than writing tortuous prose, but no. I wanted to avoid writing one of these at all costs so it took way longer than I thought it would. Also, being a perfectionist and sucking at the same time only expounded the problem.

The translation is still unedited, but my potential editor should have time starting Tuesday. This hopefully means my writing will be better and get done faster, but who the fuck knows.

I now know why Koyomi never jumped on Tsubasa. She is BORING.

Next chapter, I finally get to translate the lines of my favorite waifu (inb4 >he has more than 1 waifu). Yay!

I included three different font sizes for this release. Tell me if this is a good idea.

I’m still interested in making this into a EPub file. Hit me up if you think you can make one.

Also, more feedback is appreciated. If you think I suck, tell me in the comments.

Click here for everything that’s translated so far. [There’s a more recent version, scroll up. – rsy]